Compassion; one of the four Brahma-Viharas (sublime abodes)
I think compassion is something we all struggle with.
When to have it, When you feel like others don’t have it for you, when you may be too compassionate…
It’s something I’m understanding more and more in my own life. I think how you’re raised and the way compassion is shown to you, makes a huge difference in your ability to do it freely. I’m also learning that compassion isn’t judgmental. In fact it’s the absolute opposite. You can and should have compassion for others even if you don’t agree with them or frankly even like them.
Although my rational brain knows this and attempts to give compassion to those around me on a daily basis…its hard to have compassion for someone who is hurting someone you love and care about. Specifically the Bio’s.
On a daily basis I think about my little ones real mom. What is she doing right now, while I get to sing with her baby? What is she thinking right now, while I worry about if shes brushing her teeth at summer camp? And sometimes even more frequently…I wonder if she thinks about me?
See my little one hasn’t seen her mom in two months. She’s MIA. packed up and moved, changed her phone number. Has made NO contact.
And if you’re anything like me, anger and frustration and a bit of sadness creep up in you when you hear that. You think about how it’s possible for a mother to do that to her baby? Especially this baby…this one who is polite, and funny and kind? The issue is I can’t live with those emotions in my life. They will start rumors with your heart, they will make your thoughts toxic until the vileness spews out of your mouth. I can’t afford that. So instead I have to acknowledge those feeling and let them be, but attempt to override them with compassion. I have to think of ways to tell my little one why she can’t see mom this week. I have to be there in full open love for the times when she’s crying because she misses her…and I have to be present in the hope that everything will turn around.
It’s really hard.
It’s really, really hard.
But it’s really, really necessary.
And all I can try to do is fill my heart with a much Karuna for her as possible. And hope others around her do so as well…because the difference between her an me is a thin red line. On my side stands a tribe of compassionate humans who have lifted me up and forgiven me when needed, and on hers …